Hi friends, family…. Anyone?

It’s been ages since I last visited, but I think of this little space often.

Unfortunately this pregnancy is, for many reasons, kicking my butt! Add on top of that a very active, very sweet, but very early rising toddler and well, you’ve got one tired Mama.

I’m slowly emerging from the fog that is weekly self administered shots of progesterone for preterm labor and a very surprising diagnosis of Gestational Diabetes, entailing a super strict low carb, high protein diet (like, 4 strawberries here, 6 walnut halves here strict), finger pricks and meds. The good coming from Gestational Diabetes? Well I am a girl after all, I’ve lost 3 lbs and only put on about 10 lbs total this whole pregnancy. Ha ha, I’ll take the good where I can find it! 

When all I want to do is relish this precious little being growing, rolling, kicking in my belly, it’s a daily challenge to look past the struggle and pain and visualize his sweet face on the other side. I’ll persevere though, because we’ll most likely be meeting our littlest love next month and all the bad will be washed away in the awesomeness of his first cry, newborn smell and newborn rolls.

Slow yoga, good food, newborn clothes washing, car seat installation, hypnobabies practicing and a hospital bag (no homebirth for this chubby little GD baby)… These are the things filling my head and heart for the next few weeks. A whole lot of big brother loving too!

Xxx

Hi friends, family…. Anyone?

It’s been ages since I last visited, but I think of this little space often.

Unfortunately this pregnancy is, for many reasons, kicking my butt! Add on top of that a very active, very sweet, but very early rising toddler and well, you’ve got one tired Mama.

I’m slowly emerging from the fog that is weekly self administered shots of progesterone for preterm labor and a very surprising diagnosis of Gestational Diabetes, entailing a super strict low carb, high protein diet (like, 4 strawberries here, 6 walnut halves here strict), finger pricks and meds. The good coming from Gestational Diabetes? Well I am a girl after all, I’ve lost 3 lbs and only put on about 10 lbs total this whole pregnancy. Ha ha, I’ll take the good where I can find it!

When all I want to do is relish this precious little being growing, rolling, kicking in my belly, it’s a daily challenge to look past the struggle and pain and visualize his sweet face on the other side. I’ll persevere though, because we’ll most likely be meeting our littlest love next month and all the bad will be washed away in the awesomeness of his first cry, newborn smell and newborn rolls.

Slow yoga, good food, newborn clothes washing, car seat installation, hypnobabies practicing and a hospital bag (no homebirth for this chubby little GD baby)… These are the things filling my head and heart for the next few weeks. A whole lot of big brother loving too!

Xxx

A forever home…

It’s hard to see where this adventure is going to take us, but friends, family, anyone?! The loan has been pre-approved and we are in search of a home, perhaps our forever home. Five acres or so where our family can grow, explore, breath. There are dreams of chickens, and goats (I say chickens first, he says goats, I’m giddy over the hours we spend debating this!), of maple trees and home made ice rinks in the winter, of veggie gardens and white Christmases, of sustainability and focusing on family. It’s all such good stuff.

There is so much that this journey entails but our boots are strapped and we are on our way, however long or winding the road may be. I’m searching online listings and spending baby nap times entering every variation of “Farm” I can think of on Pinterest, He rolls his eyes as I feverishly research and read and plan. He tells me how he trusts me to make our farm and our lives as beautiful as I have made them thus far. My heart can barely handle the love.

We are excited and scared, it would be so much easier to just keep doing what we are doing, living where the faces and places are familiar, where the risks seem small… Or would it? Our hearts and minds have been at war but we know what we need to do. Leap! Fly or fall, at least we can say we gave it our all, that we really lived our lives, I mean, we’d be failing the younger Us miserably if we didn’t follow our hearts, the younger Us, that met, fell in love and were married and living on the other side of the world in mere months! Those kids, those dreamers, those two who made it work, because the ache for love and happiness was too big to ignore. We leapt then and we’ll leap now. There is no wrong turn, as long as we keep moving… 

We are scheming and dreaming and I’m doing a lot of smiling, and praying that the perfect situation presents itself. Life is just so sweet and I’m brought to tears with gratitude often. 

Pray for us and think of us. Follow along with us. I’ll update when I can.

xxx

Our inspiration:
http://longestacres.blogspot.com
http://www.lusaorganics.typepad.com
http://www.soulemama.com
http://www.cinnamongirlofmaine.com
http://beautythatmoves.typepad.com

A forever home…

It’s hard to see where this adventure is going to take us, but friends, family, anyone?! The loan has been pre-approved and we are in search of a home, perhaps our forever home. Five acres or so where our family can grow, explore, breath. There are dreams of chickens, and goats (I say chickens first, he says goats, I’m giddy over the hours we spend debating this!), of maple trees and home made ice rinks in the winter, of veggie gardens and white Christmases, of sustainability and focusing on family. It’s all such good stuff.

There is so much that this journey entails but our boots are strapped and we are on our way, however long or winding the road may be. I’m searching online listings and spending baby nap times entering every variation of “Farm” I can think of on Pinterest, He rolls his eyes as I feverishly research and read and plan. He tells me how he trusts me to make our farm and our lives as beautiful as I have made them thus far. My heart can barely handle the love.

We are excited and scared, it would be so much easier to just keep doing what we are doing, living where the faces and places are familiar, where the risks seem small… Or would it? Our hearts and minds have been at war but we know what we need to do. Leap! Fly or fall, at least we can say we gave it our all, that we really lived our lives, I mean, we’d be failing the younger Us miserably if we didn’t follow our hearts, the younger Us, that met, fell in love and were married and living on the other side of the world in mere months! Those kids, those dreamers, those two who made it work, because the ache for love and happiness was too big to ignore. We leapt then and we’ll leap now. There is no wrong turn, as long as we keep moving…

We are scheming and dreaming and I’m doing a lot of smiling, and praying that the perfect situation presents itself. Life is just so sweet and I’m brought to tears with gratitude often.

Pray for us and think of us. Follow along with us. I’ll update when I can.

xxx

Our inspiration:
http://longestacres.blogspot.com
http://www.lusaorganics.typepad.com
http://www.soulemama.com
http://www.cinnamongirlofmaine.com
http://beautythatmoves.typepad.com

Asher Wilde…

Littlest heart of mine. Tiny wiggle by tiny wiggle my heart finds yours and I begin to fall in love.

For you there are no hours spent rubbing my ever growing belly, no Sacred Pregnancy journal, no special teas or meditations. No, for the sake of time, that is all for first baby’s… In my case anyway… But sweet son there is so much love, and a peaceful knowing of how much you’ll mean to me, I can feel your weight in my arms, smell the sweetness of your new born head and in the moments where I can, I picture our soon to be moments together in secret dark hours of the day, kissing, rocking, loving… With you there is a calm and a knowing like never before. 

Our family could never be without you Wilde boy, you have made us a brother and parents of two and it’s a gift to this little family too sweet and too huge to imagine. You are more than we deserve.

I love you darling.


xxx Mama

Asher Wilde…

Littlest heart of mine. Tiny wiggle by tiny wiggle my heart finds yours and I begin to fall in love.

For you there are no hours spent rubbing my ever growing belly, no Sacred Pregnancy journal, no special teas or meditations. No, for the sake of time, that is all for first baby’s… In my case anyway… But sweet son there is so much love, and a peaceful knowing of how much you’ll mean to me, I can feel your weight in my arms, smell the sweetness of your new born head and in the moments where I can, I picture our soon to be moments together in secret dark hours of the day, kissing, rocking, loving… With you there is a calm and a knowing like never before.

Our family could never be without you Wilde boy, you have made us a brother and parents of two and it’s a gift to this little family too sweet and too huge to imagine. You are more than we deserve.

I love you darling.


xxx Mama

Sweetest soul, heart of my heart, tomorrow you are 11 months old, so very close to having completed a full trip around the sun.

How my Mama heart both soars and sinks at the thought of you no longer being a baby. 

Your giggles grow louder as your steps grow quicker and your spirit, much like your hair, defies gravity. There is something about you Sam Maverick that makes goners of us all. Maybe it’s the way you give us the side eye and smile before cheekily doing something you aren’t supposed to do (like eating dog food or handfuls of dirt, or trying to get into the toilet!), maybe it’s the way your arms reach out for anyone who will have you or the way you smile at the wind blowing in the trees, maybe it’s the way you eat like a grown man, but stash snacks in the pouches of your cheeks much like a squirrel, perhaps your chubby little hands are what drive us wild, opening and closing, hello/bye-bye, or your dance moves - a bend of those chunky knees and a rythmic bob of your head… The sweet smell of the crook of your neck, singing “ahhhh” to anyone who will listen and sing along… It could be all of those things or just the fact that at 11 months old you are one heck of a guy.

I am fascinated by you, inspired by you, truly and madly in love with you.

I was telling Papa just the other day how I can feel my love for you evolving, before I loved you because you were a part of us, a piece of my heart, my flesh and blood, but now, now I love you and fall more in love with you because of who you are, as your own person. It’s unreal.

Keep growing, keep glowing little light of my life.

Yours,

Mama

Sam Maverick, you are 10 months old!

You are no longer my tiny baby, you are a boy, a boy who laughs, eats, sleeps so well, likes to be chased, likes to be tickled, likes to be snuggled and cuddled and kissed. You kiss us now whenever the mood strikes and it is heartbreaking-ly sweet.

You are crawling at full speed and will walk along furniture or if we hold your hands, you will push behind a turned over washing basket and cross a room in seconds!

You are such a gentle, sweet and happy boy, content unless tired or hungry. You are mischievous as all get out and love to hide behind furniture and corners, splash in the dog water bowl and nibble on Dexter’s tail. Cheeky, sweet, beautiful babe! The world is your playground and you are constantly amazed and fascinated. It is beautiful to watch.

We are head over heals in love with you kid. You are our happiest moments.

Love you.

xxx Mama 

Four years ago today, on a cool Wednesday afternoon, we declared our love in front of our nearest and dearest in an ancient church in a tiny English village. Our love and family has grown, first with our dog boy and then with our precious bull baby and now, just when we thought we couldn’t be blessed with more, we became a family of four. Thank you God for our blessings!

Four years ago today, on a cool Wednesday afternoon, we declared our love in front of our nearest and dearest in an ancient church in a tiny English village. Our love and family has grown, first with our dog boy and then with our precious bull baby and now, just when we thought we couldn’t be blessed with more, we became a family of four. Thank you God for our blessings!

9 months my little heart, I can barely believe how quickly the time goes by.

You amaze me everyday with new faces, sounds and skills.

You love to eat  paper towels, Dexter’s tail and Mama’s spotty purse. 

You shout ba-ba all day long and will cry out Mamamamama when you are sad or angry.You’ll crawl across the room to follow Daddy out of the door and you’ll stand, climb, cruise along anything to get what you want.

You are smiley and happy but know what you want, you are perfect.

Before you I thought I knew what bumps and scratches were, I thought I understood the depths of sadness, the highest elevation of happiness, how silly I was. You make everything more my darling and through knowing you I better know me.

I love you my boy, my bull, you are my heart and soul, my gift.

x Mama

Old School.

We are going off the grid people… Well as much off the grid as you can for a family living in the middle of Los Angeles, which all boils down to the fact that we no longer have Internet in our home. Nope. I think we are the only family in this century without wifi, but we are kind of excited.

Our hearts ache for less screen time, more time with each other playing board games, running through wild lavender fields etc. Our babe is growing up so fast and we want to make sure we are in an environment conducive to maximum soaking up of his cuteness. We have no self control and this change leaves us with no choice but for quiet family game nights, long dinners, lots of bible time and walks together to Starbucks when I want to Google things like “green baby poop” and “how to sew baby harem pants”.

The money we’ll save is a motivating factor too! All the pennies we can put into our buy-a-farm-fund all the better.

While we still have the 3G on our phones, we are looking forward to a no cable TV, no home phone, no Internet kinda home.

So this is not goodbye, but an I’ll see you around sometime, perhaps every few weeks or so for a babe update.

xxx
TL

Precious heart, my little Wild Thing. You are 8 months old today and own this Mama’s heart.

You are growing, growing like a little weed, a sweet Sunflower.

You smile, you giggle, you scream, you cry in frustration. 

You pull up, you crawl, you reach, you grab, you fall down, you are so brave and strong.

You eat like a teenage boy, and very much enjoy grilled cheese on sourdough and steamed carrots and zucchini. You wallow in the bath like a happy little hippo for the longest time.

You can cross the house in a minute and I find you in corners doing mischievous things.

You want me all the time, but you don’t need me any more. You love to hold my hand and fiddle with my clothes and face as we nurse.

You adore your dog, and the painting of your dog.

You smile the widest for your Daddy and for the thermostat control too.

You goo and you gah and you reach for strangers. You know that the shaped blocks go into their holder, your tiny fingers fiddle for ages with it.

You sleep the whole night through, and I am so proud of you. You rub your eyes when you are tired and you get super snuggly, you immediately relax when I turn your fan on for white noise.

Our days are filled with play and food, of short walks to the coffee shop, mommy and me yoga and most recently music class. You love the bubble song.

You make me feel. Everything. You make me want to be better. I love becoming who you need me to be. I am a better Mama, wife and person every day, because I love you. 

Keep growing, keep moving… Many said I’d be exhausted, but I only feel more alive. Keep hiding in those corners and I will keep chasing after you, finding you.

I love you Sam Maverick.

xx Mama

7 months sweet child, for 7 months I have loved you more than anything else, I have laughed and cried and “felt” more than ever before.

You are a joy, a lesson, you are our greatest pride.

Your personality is sweet, you love to smile at strangers and are happy with all you meet, not even batting an eyelid when the air hostess sweeps you up and spends 20 minutes introducing you to all of the other passengers. You are fearless and strong, one day you were content to be held and gently smothered in kisses and the next you were climbing over me, a tiny foot in my ribs, another in my nose, dragging your delicious little body across the floor with such speed!

After just 3 days with your cutie, chattier cousins, you have added a few new sounds to your vocabulary and Papa and I are both convinced we heard a “dada” in there the other day. I am blown away by the speed at which you are becoming you.

You want to see, taste, touch and smell everything, and my heart aches to give you it all!

Today I hung up a small chain of paper lanterns in your room while you were out in the living room and when I bought you in to see them your face, oh my gosh, your face! Your smile grew huge, your eyes were wild and I was worried you were going to fling yourself out of my arms. You looked at me with so much joy. My heart almost exploded. When I tucked you in tonight and turned off those lantern lights, you let out the saddest whimper, I wanted to turn them on, heck, I wanted to go out to the store then and there and buy you a million more. That’s the thing sweet heart, you have me, hook, line and sinker. As much as I can do (and should do), I will.

I love you beautiful boy. Your soft buttery skin, your whispy blonde hair that’s long in the front and short in the back, your huge eyes that can’t decide what color they really want to be. You are Christmas to me; bright, joyful, magical.

Forever and ever yours my darling son,

x Mama